Acceptance

I was trying my best to write on my blog directly on the blogger page, yet it didn’t work out. Either internet connection here was lousy or it just my computer was a bit cranky.
Well, so here what I did.
I wrote them down with Microsoft Word, and let see if I could paste it on my blog, since I have no idea why, I couldn’t get through further then my blog dashboard.

Anyway…

First thing, my FS and Masterplan project is postponed, not for 2 or 3 days as what Sphinxku thought…it’s till May 2005~
Well, in fact I’m a bit relieved. The schedule was too tight, and I found it nonsense to work on such big project within 2 months!
Well yeah it’s possible if I exclude the fact that there’s going to be around 100.000 extra people will live there, and I don’t need to be bothered with how the place will fit for them.
Yet, it seems as if that’s how it works.
Either a project from private developer or government, it runs in the same rules of game.
They don’t care on how the feasibility study or why and all the reasons behind it.
If they do ask us to make the FS, it’s only for the sake of ‘requirement’ to make the project acceptable by the ‘board of building regulation’—which I’m not sure they even care.

They won’t care if the FS is right or wrong, I even doubt if they really read it carefully.
Am I sounding too cynical?

But oh well, I think it’s not only in Indonesia. I heard from friend in Thailand, shit like this happens. And, I believe, as long as big money rules, these issues will never fade away.

So, here I am now, with extra months to work on the project, with data and budget shortage, I should find middle way for me to work it out, without being burdened by conflict between idealism and reality.

Secondly, I should be back with my paper for GASS3. Since I have more time and can stop working on that FS thingie, I should be able to fully concentrate on my paper. Crossing fingers, hoping that I could be able completely concentrate and manage to finish it ontime, and of course not as a crappy paper.

As if I’m not having enough things to do….

But I’m happy with it, as long as I’m enjoying my time doing those things.

Couple days ago, a friend asked me working on a competition…well let’s see, for now I can’t write too much yet about it, until it comes to form. The most important is, hopefully, if we won, we could gain some bucks.

Just an hour ago, I was back from Potluck with Susi—the Indonesian girl who was in Delft before. We talked on life over there, and some of our lives here.
It reminded me to my conversation online with Sari, when she said it’s better for me not keep comparing life here and there. Well, I’m not doing it any longer, thou sometimes during certain seconds, there’s faint memories that tickles me to remember my time over there.

I know for some people here in Indonesia,
we are sounding as snobs,
as if we were too ‘westernized’
and forgot anything good of our home country.

It’s not like that.

And it’s useless for me trying to explain it here…I just try to understand my friend’s feeling who also yearns to be back to our Dutch life.

This is not about complaining or whining.

No…
It’s also understandable when peoples look annoyed as we started talking about our Dutch life or unconsciously comparing here and there.

Sincerely, I am really sorry if in any case I annoyed any of my friends here in Indonesia.

Yet, I’m building my daily life here,
standing firm on the ground, but still with head in the clouds.