double happiness

chinese letter that is usually shown in wedding ceremonies.

It is comprised of two letters that means: happiness.

When they are combined, they are: DOUBLE HAPPINESS

the goodwishes for newly wed couple.

It is not the first time I’ve played role as listener of other’s marriage problems.
But for Japanese, it was the second time.
Our conversation was on ‘gender equality’ for Japan in particular.

He then mentioned the case of income disparity between him and his wife—which means his wife earns more—I don’t think it is a problem from him if vice versa.
*She works harder, back home later, sometimes even drunk.
Sad…

*Maybe you should have kids?
*I once wanted them badly, but now…I doubt to have any.

Flashing back to my conversation with Sachiyo.

*Japanese guys are mostly childish.
That is her statement.
Still in somewhat similar issue: female position in Japan.

*Most Japanese men require housewives,

who’ll stay at home and raise their kids, doing laundry and cooking.
Their cares and obedience nevertheless won’t promise them loyalty from their husbands whenever those guys are outside Japan.
Do you know how actually most of those Japanese guys’ attitude at night?

I smile.

*I don’t know

*So do their wives. They don’t know, or maybe they just pretend not to know.

Returned to my conversation with this Japanese guy, I tried not to be bias.

He was still telling me stories how his wife hates house works, like cleaning, laundry and doing dishes.

*She prefers her job.
But then he added quickly…
*Nevertheless, it is difficult, you know, to survive and keep up financially in big city like Tokyo without both of us working.
*Yes, same in Jakarta and most of all big cities.

Then, if there is any statistical record on divorce number in big cities compare to secondary cities, do you think it will show this tentative hypothesis that divorces are caused by urban life pressure?

I told him, it is hard for me to tell which is right or wrong, and it has been hard enough for me to be convinced by marriage institution…

I don't think it is something to do with Japanese or non-Japanese, as long as courtesy [I won't say love...it is utopis] still exist, wouldn't it possible to diminish those marriage issues?