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Who am I?

That was how Wei Hui ended her “Shanghai Baby”, where Coco is in confused wondering what is actually she’s been pursuing, what is her aim…who actually she is.

In the latest book I’ve read by Susanna Tamaro, an Italian writer, it can strongly sense the ambiguity, dilemmas and mixed emotions of young women.
The book title “Va’dove ti porta il cuore” (Follow your HEART) is actually not the sentence Olga (the grandma) address only to her granddaughter, but also to herself during her time of crisis, or to Ilaria—her daughter who died in car accident—if she had had time to reconcile their mother-daughter relation.

And that what she is trying to pursue in this book. Reconciliation with her granddaughter—and herself—before her death comes to her.
This book is a female novel. Not to confuse with romantic, love story type of novel. Yes, it has some romances, some lovestories, but above all it shows the dark sides of women’s hearts.

Once Olga was in conversation with a Germany Jesuit brother—the one she describes as not an ordinary priest who usually just saying soft words, pretend to be wise and encouraging. This brother dares to offense her; challenge her to move out from her dark side, during their walks on the hills.

“every heart is partly shaded and partly shined”
“what a person can do is to avoid staying too long in the shade”

Olga started to learn what she wants in her 40s.

Just like Elia faces in the story by Paulo Coelho, The Fifth Mountain, there are always times of indispensable condition. Olga found out her marriage was dull, her husband was in love to his bugs more then to her. She was in love with Ernesto, the doctor of hotsprings. She gave birth of a girl, not from her husband, which then got killed after knowing her real father.

These indispensables can either bend ones aim or sharpen it. But above all, ones should have an AIM first.

Gnõthi seauton—know yourself.

Without understanding, knowing myself…can I just state my aim? Can I give my assessment towards the problems surround me? Are my complains valid?

Do you know who you are?



Comments

sphinxku said…
yes i do!

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