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Okay...here is recent me. fatty and happy~

Postcard from Sweden, it's sent by YinFang. She was in Sweden's Design Center dated 8th Nov 2004 [so it took 8 days for a postcard travelling east!] ...what a vibrant postcard! thanks dear!

I don't understand... sometimes I think I know people... but then I realized I know them nothing... is it possible that people change within days...months... ... I just wish it's still that easy to talk and discuss on something why is it so difficult? Is it me or you make it difficult? Or am I getting slower? Ik begrijp u niet! But I'm still here to listen, friend!

In the other part of this world, it’s Thanksgiving Day. No, it’s nothing to do with Indonesian culture...it is completely American. But, nothing wrong to be thankful and remembering how many blessings we’ve been granted within this year... Yes, one may say, and then you should be thankful each day... Zekerweten ! Agree! Yet, marking a day and making it as a stop to review our previous days, by not seeing the failures, but counting every single tiny miracle in our life. It is more then ‘making a day’ but ‘building confidence’ by thanking and grateful of every small miracles in life. I’m talking to myself. ...counting my miracles...I just realized how I’ve been brought to this day in luxurious ways... PS: My big sis, Olive, cooked 7 dishes for thanksgiving!!! Woohoo!! Mariska’s First Thanksgiving

You say you wander your own land But when I think about it I don't see how you can You're aching, you're breaking And I can see the pain in your eyes Says everybody's changing And I don't know why So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move just to stay in the game Trying to stay awake and remember my name Because everybody's changing And I don't feel the same You're gone from here Soon you will disappear Fading into beautiful light Because everybody's changing And I don't feel right... Keane~ J'ai changé, mais à quelle direction ?

I just back from swimming in the morning, couple minutes ago, found a package from Delft on my table...!!! it's from my lovely YinFang ....the Taiwanese girl, my ex-neighbour at RolandHolstlaan, my Italy trip partner and my friend's girlfriend... Want to know what is inside? 1. CD Keane: Hopes and Fears....we both love this album....we were even trying to search on internet, and ended up finding other Keane... 2. My Favorite Tea!!!! Pickwick Evening Breeze....i love it, i love it!!! 3. a very sweet card...with her handwritings on it of course.... Do Xie Yin Fang, Ni Dai Hau Liau....hehehehhe.... Thanks dear....I am really really super duper Happy!!! You make my day!!! hugs!

Back to work and all sounded-busy-things-to-do Yesterday, Monday. Started my day emailing peoples, applying for grant from GASS3, hoping I can get one…well at least to reimburse my travel cost to Singapore. Booked my ticket to Singapore, will pay tomorrow. And started working with Senen Analysis on computer…darn, I was so slow, I guess I haven’t recovered from last week vacation mode… In the afternoon I went to TAC [ Transforming Asian Cities ] spin-off exhibition in ITB [Institut Teknologi Bandung]. Long story behind it…and I don’t have any mood to talk about it… anyway...Angga asked me to take some picture, this is one of it. Then I was introduced to Yann, the French guy who has been in Indonesia for one year. He is doing his internship now for 4 months in PSUD-Bandung. He was in UGM for one year…I think as exchange student. Thus, no wonder he speak Indonesian fluently. Conversation was serious topic in the beginning, bitching on Rem Koolhaas…well…it’s normal within arch...

When did the last time I wrote my Blog? Well anyway, I’ll just pack my—or may I say, our national—one week vacation, due to Eid [Suikerfeest or Lebaran] last Sunday, 14th November [D day] Oh I did write something in between those days didn’t I? D-1 I went for discussion with Peter and Oky for Senen competition at Rani’s house. Her parents weren’t around. They [Rani and others] prepared they own meal, canned fish with soya bean, canned minced pork, lap chiong, ham and rice…I arrived around 3PM. The road were sooooo empty, nice...i love the traffic! D day my sis and family came, I’ve written something bout that. Well there’s nothing on in the city, due to this big Moslem event. It’s normal. vivienne, my sis [nat] and wie D+1 Bandung: View from Sierra Cafe and Resto hmm..what did I do…oh I drove at 4:30 AM to station, picking up Norman. On the way I almost hit 2 persons…!Good grief, nothing bad happened, I think I was still half asleep. Afterwards I continue...

check this out, the vibrant lives of Asia... http://www.time.com/time/asia/2004/boa/

back to you it always comes around back to you I tried to forget you I tried to stay away But it's too late over you I'm never over over you something about you It's just the way you move the way you move me I'm so good at forgetting and I quit every game I've played but forgive me love I can't turn and walk away back to you it always comes around back to you I walk with your shadow I'm sleeping in my bed with your silhouette should have smiled in that picture if it's the last that I'll see of you it's the least that you could not do oh I will leave the light on I'll never give up on you leave the light on for me too "back to me I know that it comes back to me doesn't it scare you your will is not as strong as it used to be" [ John Mayer -Room For Square]

Ok..i've formatted my computer, now my CDWriter is not working...let see if the computer will still restart by itself while i'm writing on blogger. anywiz.. i have no idea what's going on with my computer. i've just tried to change from nero express to nero 5, but the nero 5 doesn't work, so i tried nero 6...ok..it detects my F: Lite ON something something...but then...damn....it still cannot perform any of burning activities! it says something like...'cannot perform end track' what's the hell was that ??? then ok...i tried to return to nero xpress, well who knows...maybe it's not the computer but softwares errors... ok...but STILL!!!!! gosh... so let's try windows cd writer wizard...still still still.... now I give up! something must be wrong with the CDwriter now... I just dun wanna reformat the computer all over again! it means i need to download msn messenger and yahoo messenger once again!!! well don't laugh at me! this...

Once people told a little girl that she has problem in making decisions. She tends to break down a supposed-to-be-conclusion into more questions to answer, “you make things complicated! What’s the difficult to make choices? At the end it’s for you to choose!”, that’s what they said. Then it was ended up they valued her less. She felt as strange person, mislead, and again…she was questioning, “why should I stop my consideration, how can I change the fact that every single thing in this world bears a butterfly effect power? As for,” she continues on wondering, “…me, their saying for sure give me certain influence…”Will she stop questioning? But never mind, let leave that girl with her own thought for now… Well finally I finished my paper for GASS3, the one that I’ve been having hard time to complete—out of a ‘failure’ I’ve made…or, may I give a bit compliment to this failure as…as unfinished project? That means I will definitely fly to Singapore for the symposium, well I should! I’...

catching him online...eindelijk. Arun most recent look, in London now...will tell you later more about him...first, post his picture! voila~

damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

too bad! after several time crashed, i decided to ask for help. Oky came for rescue, but at the end, it was abit messed up we did reinstall the XP but forgot to save all registry... now i need to reinstall all programs and download msn and yahoo again!!! ahhh... dial up.... takes forever~ hehe but then i have reason to post this blog... lalala

SMILE (Though Your Heart Is Breaking) Words by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons Music by Charlie Chaplin for his play " Modern Times " 1936 Smile, though your heart is aching Smile, even though it's breaking when there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by... If you smile through your fear and sorrow Smile and there’ll be tomorrow you’ll see the sun comes shining through for you…. Light up your face with gladness Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear maybe ever so near That's the time you must keep on trying Smile, what's the use of crying You'll find that life is still worthwhile If you just... Smile, though your heart is aching Smile, even though it's breaking when there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by... That's the time you must keep on trying Smile, what's the use of crying you’ll find that life is still worthwhile If you just smile

What is it with my PC? It’s twice today I tried to write on Blogger and each time blue screen appeared and dumping memory …something… Anywiz, it was nice this morning, rainy and quiet. School in front of my house is on vacation now, due to Lebaran [suikerfeest] Well…so it’s really quiet… Nice… And what is it with me that so difficult to finish my paper? Ach…

Oops..I forgot her birthday, it supposed to be on 7th November... anyway, Happy Birthday Dear Lisa , wish you all the happiness in life... hugs, Yuli

have you ever remembered something while u sniff on something? I smelled something really particular today, it smells like candy...certain flavour... remind me of an incident, which I want to forget. have you ever heard, Forgive and Forget...? maybe I did forgive... but i just knew, I couldn't forget yet.

my sweet niece, her name is Vivienne. The pic was taken by my 2nd sis, Natalia...

A bit tired, yet grateful inside. Just back from site survey in Jakarta, for a competition at Pasar Senen. A return trip with Oky and Peter; Oky drove Visto, and on the way back it was heavily raining, so the traffic was a bit daunting. Met Andre [Oky’s brother] there, so it was full team first meeting. What nice was the talks we had along the trip. Positive and brainstorming. I’ll soon go to sleep; tomorrow I’ll start my full-of-commitment week. Another deadline to confront.

I was trying my best to write on my blog directly on the blogger page, yet it didn’t work out. Either internet connection here was lousy or it just my computer was a bit cranky. Well, so here what I did. I wrote them down with Microsoft Word, and let see if I could paste it on my blog, since I have no idea why, I couldn’t get through further then my blog dashboard. Anyway… First thing, my FS and Masterplan project is postponed, not for 2 or 3 days as what Sphinxku thought…it’s till May 2005~ Well, in fact I’m a bit relieved. The schedule was too tight, and I found it nonsense to work on such big project within 2 months! Well yeah it’s possible if I exclude the fact that there’s going to be around 100.000 extra people will live there, and I don’t need to be bothered with how the place will fit for them. Yet, it seems as if that’s how it works. Either a project from private developer or government, it runs in the same rules of game. They don’t care on how the feasibility st...

the girl in red pants is birthday today...happy bday Nati!

oh how i suddenly miss this crowd! look at that cutie guy in pink on far right....

Nicky and me at Central Park, early morning in February 2004 I just got a phonecall this morning, from a far distance friend. He is a friend I’ve known since I was in university, well in specific, it was during our internship in Sanur-Bali, around 1997 if I’m not wrong. It is always nice talking with him, a kind of ironic and sarcastic person, yet uplifting and fun. He left Bandung earlier then me. I think it was year 2000 when he left to Baltimore for a job. And until now, he is still stuck there…hahaha..am I right, Nick? Having interest on same issue must be the reason why we click and easily talk to each other. After he left Bandung for job, I had not met him till this year in February, when I went to States to see my new baby niece in Texas and on the way back to Netherlands I stopped over in New York. Well, I was on my own trip, and he was only 4 hrs away from NY. In fact, I was successfully drag him down to NY just right after his working hour that Friday. Hahahaha…....

You Raise Me Up-Josh Groban When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary; When troubles come and my heart burdened be; Then, I am still and wait here in the silence, Until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up To more than I can be. There is no life– no life without its hunger; Each restless heart beats so imperfectly; But when you come and I am filled with wonder, Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up To more than I can be. [life is up and down...but not alone when i'm down]

This is my lil brother...well not little anymore, today he is 24. A medical student who is now busy in local hospital in Semarang [it's not nearby Bandung...if Bandung in West Java, Semarang is in Center Java] Still single, I guess he's been too busy with his study...or is he too picky hehe... Talking to him is always nice, since he loves to read [others then those medical latin terms for sure]... What I have as his bday presents, you asked? well well...just records of Tim Tamashiro and Putumayo series on French Cafe . Those are his type of music. Quite similar with mine. Wish you all the best in your life, happy and joyful days, that's the most important... and of course [in short term] success on your Psychiatric Exam...damn, not easy huh? Happy Birthday, Bro!

Here's the location of that FS and Masterplan project...well i haven't 'printscreen' the latest work..will do that tomorrow.

Why it's named deadline? a line of dead? hehe..well, in some sense it's quiet wrong. For us, those who used to work over nite catching up with schedule, deadline most of the time, keeps them alive. For the matter of fact, that's true, thou some of them become 'zombified' a bit empty look, staring at computer and clicking mouse. well...I'm having 2 deadlines at the same time now. The first one is our project, sort of urban design project, but with Feasibility Study and Proposal Masterplan for a c.a.50ha housing area... oh well, dealing with sort of project ain't as glamorous as it's sounding... lack of data, and distance with location [it's in other island: Kalimantan, my base is in Bandung: Jawa...next time I'll post my location map]...sort of tiring and time consuming.... yet, I'm still amused everytime there's new finding... well...small achievement you can say... the other one is nothing to do with design, it is jus...

here is she...my dear buddy! Devisari Tunas...hehehe...we have one similarity, slordig hahahahhaha...to identify we are still alive, we--at least once in 2 days--need to bump to something; bed, tables, window frame, shelves hahahaha.....ahhh..miss you alot, Sari!!!!

la question urbaine finally in my hand!!!! thanks to my sweet dear Sari , a precious friend i miss alot....muach muach, thanks darling! though it's only copy version [ well, sorry Mr. Castells, they make it so difficult for me to get the original version... ], and only part one [Sari made her effort to copy till chapter four, that's magnificent!] but it's really pulling my enthusiasm again to continue on my paper... well, ok, and another finding on AI works...i've struggled the whole nite to refine a DWG work in AI...and it was so damn slow progress...as for my computer...it's hard work... then just in the morning, granted such a big blessing by God, then suddenly a new finding just help me manage to compact a whole nite work in couple hours...hehe....well....nothing is useless, whole nite effort finally leads to something... ok, that's for now...ach..magnificent! merci beau coup Sari!

After this you'll find some of my sweet memories of 15 days in Italy [August 2004]with Danly and Yinfang, those which keep on bouncing in my head i have the small picture of this, while we were posing...danly took our moment...such a nice series of pictures...my sweet memories in Italy

me..taken by yinfang, on our 'strange' lunch in verona yinfang with her 'ham~!' ohhhhhh

Sky of Tuscany...where time stands still. A picture taken from top of around 1000 years campanile in Archidosso.

should you blame yourself if you reason on things? well yes if it stop you from moving forward, or at worst...drag you down to drain. that's why I've decided to delete all my past blog-postings too many issues attached me from move on drag me back each time I want to leap forward. this is a brand new page..thou they still remain in me and sometimes bounce to surface just to tickle me a bit. it just the phase of life where people questioning theirselves, i believe. as i believe also God creates things with their own times. so, why should I bother if this is the moment for me to take a step back, rethink then buried them deep down..and go for new pages. life is waiting... and today i still believe, each moment is created to form a person . and here i start ...no...i continue to the next chapter.